Really? AGAIN?

Once again I must do a Mountain Dr. apology for Dempsey. For some reason he will never run out the front door. Even on his leash he stops and waits for me to walk out first, the garage door is COMPLETELY different. That one is a  f r e e  f o r  a l l!  If you open the door from the house to the garage and the big door is open, it is a personal invitation to Dempsey to LOSE HIS FLIPPING MIND! I was at the grocery store and I had left the big door open since I was going to be right back. While I was gone my son and daughter came home with some friends. My son opened the door and Big D came bounding out. I say "bounding" because there is no word for "pure, unadulterated crazy, run/jump/prancing/jig thing he does at moments like these. He immediately ran to my sons friend and pounced on her, she tried to grab him, no luck, apparently then he ran UP the street with no destination in mind, peed a couple of places, then ran back past my driveway to the neighbors toddler who was standing in the driveway next door (luckily didn't jump on her! He just sniffed and licked, cause ya know, he's a good dog) my neighbor tried to grab him, no luck (btw this is all with my giant teen boy, running to an fro,  right behind him trying to catch him) THEN Dempsey decided the other side of Mountain Dr. looked appealing, so in front of at least three cars (one of which was me!) he ran and peed on the tree over there. As I sat there, I watched him gleefully dodge my son, run about 10 feet down the cul de sac, dodge my giant teen at least 5 more times and run into the street again. So like any normal adult, with grace and elegance I SLAMMED  on my brakes and THREW my car into park, jumped out  and SCREAMED all ladylike and all DEMPSEY!!!!! He in turn joyfully ran over and jumped in my car. (HE CAMEWHENCALLED!! Good dog #cuphalffull!)  As I sat in my car crying (normal right?!) with a panting dog breathing down my neck all I could think of was, crap, I have to apologize again...  ...so sorry neighbors !!

 #crazylab #eleganceandgrace #dempseydog #shouldhavegotaturtle #SeriouslyDempsey?

To the Nice Lady with the pretty dogs...

I woke up this morning and realized that my Amazon package did not arrive yesterday as promised. So, at 7am, before brushing my teeth or fixing my hair and still in my pajamas (side note:  I don't sleep in cute pjs, I just throw on any old T and shorts, this is important information for later) I decided to go out front to look around and see if it was hidden in the planter or something. When I walked out, I safely closed the door behind me. This was so my giant lab puppy Dempsey (he has a name now..)  didn't follow me out. I looked around, couldn't find it and went to go back inside. Unfortunately, somehow the door had locked behind me! As I am knocking quietly on the front door hoping my husband would hear, a nice lady with two beautiful dogs walked down the sidewalk, minding their own business.(if she had known what was coming, she would have starting running then)  I think I nodded to her, not sure, either way, I thought in my head, "that's what my Dempsey and I will be doing in a bit." Finally, my husband comes and opens the door, I walked in, greeted Dempsey (who has zero concept of time) acted like I had left for 12 hours when in reality I was just on the other side of the door for 3 minutes. Unbeknownst to me, my husband was standing with the door open trying to figure out why the door had locked itself. FIRST MISTAKE. With the door open our little poodle thought it was an invitation to run and pee on the front lawn. SECOND MISTAKE. Instead of immediately closing the door, my husband opened it wider to tell the poodle to come back in. (ugh....men!) THIRD MISTAKE. Dempsey took this as an invitation to run out there with him. All was fine for the 30 second coveted pee on the lawn, UNTIL they saw the lady with her beautiful dogs. All HELL breaks loose. The poodle goes running, Dempsey goes running, I go running, my husband goes hobbling after the dogs.(hes still recovering from two shattered feet)  This nice lady, says "Its ok! He's being friendly" to which I have no idea why, I said, "yea, he just got home from doggie boot camp" I grabbed Dempsey (who isn't wearing a collar because it is a training collar and he only wears it for walks) and tried to hold him so I can drag him back home. He was having NONE of that nonsense. By now, I was in the street. My imagined vice grip was no match, as he wiggled and wrangled and got away from me to resume his run after our DAMN poodle again, who was  STILL accosting Nice Lady's dogs. Finally I grab Dempsey again, that hold lasted less than 30 seconds, he jumped free.  I need to stop right here and  tell you, Dempsey, has a very distinctive "LOOK AT ME!" jump. It defies gravity. I will try to describe, but, if you've never seen it you'll never fully comprehend. First, he jumps STRAIGHT up and then in mid air, does this weird little twist where his nose is literally touching his bottom, then still in mid air he twists to the other side and lands in forward motion, I'm convinced he is actually running before he touches down. There is no stopping this "jump", once it starts you just have to stand back and watch the mayhem unfold. So, once he did his "jump" I knew I was in trouble. Suddenly the world was in slow motion, but, weirdly, everything was happening so fast that my brain and certainly my body wasn't prepared, (this may have been the part where I sat on the curb, head in my hands, thinking "I should have gotten a pet turtle,  in my ugly shorts, torn tee, with ratted hair and ghostly white legs, near tears...) There was nothing that was going to stop this Dempsey driven train wreck, so I quickly resigned myself to go along with the ride. I vaguely remember my husband shouting to stop chasing him, "remember what the trainer said?!" but, God and Dempsey knew I was along for the ride, there was no stopping US now. In his frenzy (or mine, not sure anymore) he resumed sniffing her poor dogs again. He then jumped (for a second time! )  and JOYFULLY ran across the street to pee on a different tree. This whole time he's wagging his tail and having the time of his life. He runs back AGAIN, and sniffs the dogs and Nice Lady and I in my infinite wonder-women-dog-whispering way, grab again, as Nice Lady is just trying to walk away from our craziness. (I think this is where I pleaded with her to please stop moving so he quits getting farther and farther from home...as if I had any right to ask anything of her!) Again, I lunge and he gets away. He runs in a giant circle, butt down, ears back, I lunge again. He gets away. Finally, I lunge and throw my entire body on him and pin him down. Somewhere in all of this my husband had hobbled home, grabbed a collar and leash, and brought it to my neighbors house whose front lawn I had successfully managed to wrestle Dempsey onto. As I am laying on top of him with our poodle running circles around us barking (stillllll barking), Nice Lady left. As I lay half on the couch, half on the floor, panting and red-faced,with my now contrite dog licking my neck, Jeff walks by and said "at least you don't have to walk him now.."

Oh and to add a PS, not related to Dempsey but, my day didn't get any better...Just now getting out of the backseat of Hayleys car, my foot got tangled in the front seats seat belt and I literally FELL OUT OF THE CAR, not a bit gracefully either, my feet were still in the car and the rest of me was in the driveway, Im pretty sure my purse flew up and hit me in the back of the head...